Top 5 Sleep Myths for Babies and Toddlers
—And What Actually Works
If you happen to be the parent of a baby or toddler who's not sleeping well, chances are you've gotten a lot of tidbits from well-meaning friends, family, and the Internet. The problem with so much of those tidbits is that most of them are based on myths which will only serve to leave you confused and frustrated as none of it works. Sleep is already hard enough without following advice that adds unnecessary stress.
Let's explode the top 5 myths about baby and toddler sleep so that you know exactly when to stop second-guessing yourself, and when to start focusing on what really works.
1. “If your baby is tired enough, they’ll just fall asleep.”
This is one of those relentless sleep myths, and it is just one of the most frustrating. You would think, after a very long day, or being awake for several hours, your baby would just fall asleep. But any parent of an overtired baby knows this is just not how it goes. An overtired baby will fuss, cling, and just be hard to settle down.
What actually works:
Babies often need a little assistance in winding down. Overtiredness makes it harder to fall asleep and to stay asleep, and that is why routine and consistency are of essence. All this comes down to knowing the right window in which to put your baby to rest before they get overtired-and yes, it's easier said than done. You don’t need to battle this alone though, a carefully tailored sleep routine can make a world of difference. It’s about helping your baby recognise when it’s time to rest, rather than hoping they’ll crash when exhausted.
2. “A little crying is not gonna hurt them; that's how they learn to sleep.”
While there's some truth in giving babies space to self-soothe, leaving them to cry for long stretches-the popular "cry it out" mantra that still gets tossed around-can cause more harm than good. It's not a question of whether crying is okay in small doses, but rather how you handle it that matters.
What actually works:
The term "controlled crying" sounds quite harsh, but what it really means is allowing your baby some time to learn to settle, but still being present when that's needed. This doesn't leave your baby crying for hours on end-nobody should do that. Instead, you give them small windows of time to try settling, while checking in and offering comfort at intervals. You remain connected, and they don’t feel abandoned. That's partly it, but the real magic happens when you hit the perfect balance between gentle reassurance and space. Your child is unique, so now it is time to find a method that works for your family.
3. "If you keep your baby awake all day, he will sleep more at night."
It seems like logical thinking: if your baby sleeps less during the day, surely they would be more tired at night and sleep longer, right? Unfortunately, this myth often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy with overtired, over-stimulated babies who fight sleep even harder. Well, if you have tried to keep a baby past their nap in hopes of a better night's rest, you probably have been subjected to the opposite effect.
What actually works:
Daytime naps are crucial for good nighttime sleep. Sleep begets sleep, meaning a well-rested baby will often sleep better at night. A consistent nap routine during the day helps regulate their internal clock, so they know when it’s time to sleep. The trick is finding the right nap schedule that works with your baby’s natural rhythm. This is often where parents get stuck. It’s not about cutting naps short, but timing them right to set up a more peaceful night. With a bit of guidance, you can figure out the perfect nap-to-bedtime flow.
4. “All babies should be sleeping through the night by six months.”
This one really piles on the guilt for parents whose babies still wake up at night past the six-month mark. Some babies sleep through early, others take longer. Expecting every baby to fit into a neat timeline just isn’t realistic, and it can lead to unnecessary stress and feelings of failure.
What actually works:
Sleep is a developmental milestone, just like walking or talking. Some babies reach it sooner than others. There’s nothing wrong with your baby if they’re still waking at night past six months. What you can do is help guide them towards better sleep habits through gentle approaches that fit their temperament. This might involve teaching them to self-settle or making small adjustments to their sleep environment. The path to better sleep isn’t a one-size-fits-all process, and that’s okay. With some tailored support, you can make progress without rushing them.
5. “Feeding them more before bed will help them sleep longer.”
When your baby is waking up constantly through the night, it’s easy to assume they must be hungry, and that an extra feed before bed will help them sleep longer. But overfeeding often isn’t the answer and can sometimes lead to more frequent wake-ups as their body works to digest. Feeding to sleep can also create an association that becomes hard to break.
What actually works:
While making sure your baby isn’t hungry is important, feeding alone won’t magically solve sleep issues. Teaching your baby to self-soothe and recognizing their other cues is far more effective for getting those longer stretches of sleep. Setting good sleep associations-like learning to resettle themselves without requiring a feed or a cuddle every time they wake up-can be a real game-changer. But these things take time and patience, and it's here that personalized strategies can come in handy.
Tired parents don't need more confusing myths to make them second-guess themselves. Understand what works for your baby or toddler regarding sleep, and rest for the whole family will follow. There's not a right way to help your child sleep better-just the right way for your family.
What baby sleep myths have you been told? Comment below for our next myths and truth blog entry!
I know how overwhelming it can be to sort through all the advice out there, especially when none of it seems to make a difference. That's why, at Dreamland Coaching, you'll find personalized sleep support that will adapt to your baby's needs and also your parenting style. Let's team up to help your baby-and you-sleep more soundly, without the frustration of trial and error.
Ready to get started? Book an appointment today, and let's bring back those peaceful nights.
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References
Mindell, J. A., & Williamson, A. A. (2018). Sleep Disorders in Children and Adolescents: A Comprehensive Guide to Sleep Disorders in Children and Adolescents. American Academy of Pediatrics.
Hall, W. A., & Horne, R. S. C. (2016). "Infant sleep: How much sleep do babies really need?" Australian Family Physician, 45(10), 740-743. Available at: RACGP
Weissbluth, M. (2015). Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. Ballantine Books.
American Academy of Pediatrics. (2016). "Sleep: What Every Parent Needs to Know." Available at: AAP
Ferber, R. (2006). Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems. Touchstone.
Thach, B. T., & Phelan, K. (2008). "Sleep and Sleep Disorders in Infants and Children." Pediatric Clinics of North America, 55(3), 811-828. doi:10.1016/j.pcl.2008.02.001
